The Curation: Volume 45

The Dolomites, my full trip itinerary, and a personal essay on Me vs. Italy.

This week, the thing I’ve been anticipating all year happened. It was awful. And then it turned out not awful at all. I got through it. I can start to really live again!

Today’s Agenda

• My full guide to the most special towns and hotels in the Dolomites

• My full trip itinerary, including my nightly rate at each hotel

• Me vs. Italy, a personal essay

This post is likely too long for email, in which case, please view in the Substack app or in your browser!

Opinion and Thoughts

If you haven’t noticed, I have an opinion about absolutely everything. My career as a strategist has definitely informed this, but I was this way in kindergarten, too. On this trip, I thought a lot about “my personal brand.” While I hate that terminology and way of thinking, I’d like to hang more heavily on my rope of opinions.

• I used to be a staunch fan of Paris’ Charles de Gaulle Airport. But they’ve really cracked down on their (insanely frustrating) policy of 12 kilos max for your carry-on, including your purse. I will actively avoid flying out of CDG going forward (flying in for a connecting flight is still a go).

• Usually, I use miles to fly business at least one way to Europe. Usually Air France or Virgin Atlantic, because they fly direct from SFO (so does United) and often have transfer bonuses from both Chase and AmEx. This trip, I flew economy both ways, KLM on the way there and Air France on the way back. I was curious what partner airline would come out on top. The seats on the new KLM Airbuses are by far and wide supreme. Really comfortable, and more leg room than normal. The food was laughably bad, for my tastes. Air France consistently has dirty, old airplanes but the best (and most) food in the game. So, no clear winner. I think KLM economy for a night flight, and Air France for a day flight is the move (and coincidentally how it worked out for me).

• I feel such duality about the impending demise of TikTok in the US. On one hand, I think subconsciously I departed from the app in anticipation of this outcome. I have always feared attaching success to one social media platform. I do think it may positively impact the youth of America, mostly, by removing a platform where the goal is to go viral. That is a mentality that can be cancerous, and we have no idea of the long-term effects. But then, I think about the fact that small businesses are the soul of America. And, for better or worse, I think of TikTok creators as small businesses, a lot of the time. To take away not only their voice, but their product, is cruel and unusual. And of course, the whole free speech argument is so very real. While a lot touted on TikTok as the truth is far from it, a lot is, in fact, fact. Information is power, and we will (likely)have less of it now.

• Italian hotel openings that I am particularly not looking forward to are The Lake Como Edition and the W Florence. No bolding of those names will happen around here.

• I saw this comment on Substack where someone was saying how sad it was that they spent 5 hours on a post and no one liked it. Am I overdoing it? Each post is usually at least 20 hours in the making, unless it’s a personal essay (those are much less time consuming). When there’s a full country list, thats hundreds of hours in the making. I don’t want to lower my standards, but maybe I’m not clear enough on how much time it takes to for you to read all of this and have it in the archive. Now you know, in case you didn’t before! It’s why I can’t lower the price to $7/month, at this stage of my career, as a one-woman operation.

News and Noteworthy

• Corinthia Brussels just opened in the former Grand Hotel Astoria, and while it’s not 100% my cup of tea, they didn’t ruin the historic lobby, and I think many aspects are well done.

• andBeyond Suyian Lodge in Kenya is one of my more anticipated openings for 2025, and they’re slated for a July opening. I was admiring the well-done renderings and saw that they have a great deal for honeymoons: 50% off one of the people’s accommodation. For those currently safari honeymoon planning!

• I go back and forth on how I personally feel about travel to Saudi Arabia, but undeniably, it’s a place where a new era of hospitality is ever-growing and thriving, rooted in the otherwordly natural landscapes of the country. The newest opening is Desert Rock Resort, set amid rocks (literally), is quite a feat, and spread out across 20,000 unspoiled, historic acres, yet it’s only 20 minutes to Red Sea Airport.

• Neos Air, an Italian low-lost airline that, admittedly, I know absolutely nothing about, just announced a new flight route from New York to Bari in Puglia. It runs weekly from June 3 to October 15th from JFK, and also has direct flights from JFK to Palermo in Sicily, and Milan. I love a direct flight so much, sometimes I’m willing to take an airline gamble. Granted, I don’t live in NYC anymore.

The Shopping Section

• This twilly scarf (not Hermes!) is perfectly pattered and could be worn around the neck, as a headband, as a belt, and on your bag.

• I didn’t bring my Samba’s on this trip because I was packing in a carry-on and the blue hue of my current pair don’t pair with everything. These are contenders for their replacements.

• This is the most beautiful and luxurious hair brush in the world, in my opinion.

• I love how sexy and scalloped come to play in this top.

• If I were going on a warm weather vacation sometime soon, I’d snag this very good swimsuit. Top, bottoms.

• I’ve followed and been inspired by Paris Starn for years, and I love her collab with Semaine on this apron.

• I did a lot of bag spotting on this trip. A lot of chic woman analyzation. I came to the conclusion that if I were to splurge on a designer bag at this moment in time, it would be Ferragamo (as is my usual), and it would be this. I saw a woman in Torino with the bag, a guest at Giessbach with one, and a chic passerby that walked by the cafe in Paris where I had dinner. Three times is the charm.

Me vs. Italy

I got home and I swear, I looked in the mirror and didn’t look as good as I did on my trip. Sure, of course, the 11 hour flight was largely to blame - but also, I felt the reflection internally, too.

I got home and immediately had to run an errand. To Walgreens in Laurel Village (near my neighborhood in San Francisco), which I was immediately reminded likely has the ritziest clientele in The City. But, I changed out of my cute plane outfit and into the absolute ugliest sweatpants, and a cute but very oversized Rowing Blazers Babar sweatshirt, with mini UGGs from two years ago. I wouldn’t be caught dead in this outfit even in a train bathroom, in Italy.

So, is it me?

Or is it how I feel? On the inside.

Are those two things the same?

I don’t know, but I’ve been lingering between branches of this thought line since I arrived in Italy three weeks ago.

Because it’s absolutely undeniable - I am the most me in Italy. I hold myself to my highest standard, and I do not second guess myself. I feel at home and understood even when I get myself way in over my head with a fast talking Italian conversation.

And most importantly - my smile is entirely different, entirely real, when I’m not here, at home, in San Francisco.

The thing is, I never considered myself to be a lover of The City. Marin?! Hellll yes. Mill Valley the most, I’m so proud to call it my hometown. But San Francisco? Mostly, I live here by default.

In 2019, I came to a fast Manhattan burnout and California was definitely calling. At that time, Hazel and Ollie were little and I didn’t want to miss anything, and I wasn’t ready to move back to the bay quite yet. LA it was, but LA will never be for me. I’ll never shut up about how much I hated UCLA. But it was a good buffer year, and it did cement that, if I live in California, it’s going to be in The Bay.

The thing is, I identify as a Bay Girl, a Marin Girl, but not really a California Girl. I don’t particularly fit in, in my home state. Luckily, I made my lifelong best friends in high school and before, so I never feel that way with my own people. But out and about? I actively play myself down. Dress myself down. Tone myself down. Say what you want, but this likely would not have been my sentiment anytime before the 2000s. It is definitely, for me, a tech problem. There’s such a cultural desire to fit in that’s so at odds with the history of the city.

But I am not a toned down person. I am not quiet (personality-wise) and I am not indifferent. I am not unstylish and I am not a sheep. And I fucking hate hiking.

I hate when I go on a date and the guy wants to “try a bunch of different cocktails.” Don’t you know what you like?! It’s unsexy to me to be indifferent. And don’t even get me started on the entitlement of “I’ll make you like hiking.” No you won’t, my childhood backyard was attached to the Dipsea trail, pinkie promise I would have done it once in my life if that was ever in my cards.

So why do I live here?

Because I’m 33 and single and my dad is 88 and I am an only child. I feel obligated to be close to my dad, because he’s the best dad in the world, and I don’t think I’d love living in Marin at this stage of my life, without my friends also living in Marin.

So, I live in San Francisco. But I wait all year to truly live, in Italy.

About a month and a half ago, I started thinking about something I never really had before - the fact that I cannot picture my future here (and I do have a brain that can picture nearly everything), yet all I’ve ever wanted is to find the right man for me to build a life with and become a mom.

I think I can’t visualize this future because I do not see myself in America long-term.

While I am a homebody, I thrive on connections with strangers. I like to talk to people I meet, throughout the day. The other day, the line at the pharmacy was long. There was a very, very chic woman in line behind me. I’ve seen her around the neighborhood since I moved here. She’s Jewish! She’s a mom. She’s lovely! But she was only interested in conversation for about 30 seconds. Of course, I have no idea what kind of day she was having, but this is an almost unilateral experience of living in California.

My dad has Arthur-isms, and one has always been “People in California equate friendliness with desperation.” I didn’t know what that meant as a child, but wow, has he been right all along.

He moved to California because this is where my mom is from, and where my mom wanted to raise a child. He stayed for the same reasons. But, he’s from Flint, Michigan, and lived in NYC and Florence and Paris and St. Barths. No wonder he never felt appreciated here.

Because after this trip, I realize that I don’t either. For example, at Grandhotel Giessbach, on two separate occasions, two strangers complimented me in ways that took me by total surprise and also made me feel seen. The first was a fellow guest, a hotel owner, a Swiss woman – “I look forward to seeing what you will come down wearing every night.” The other was the head waiter at the restaurant, who is, incidentally, Italian. He said, in Italian, “I came up to the bar to see what you were wearing tonight, because I saw you didn’t make a reservation at the restaurant tonight. And you are always so elegant, it’s lovely.” ME? ELEGANT? I have spent all 33 years of my life in California being the “quirky one.”

But in my heart, I do feel elegant. I am proud of my personal style. I am proud of my ability and desire to talk to strangers. I dress up at night. These are things that are not seen or understood or appreciated where I live.

Incidentally, every man I’ve ever loved has not been a California native. I’m 33 and time is ticking, because I do want to be a mother, and I feel strongly about not having an only child.

But, my dad is 88 and healthy and has absolutely no one besides me. What do I do?

What would you do?

What I want to do, is move to Florence. Like, soon. There, I said it!

I currently pay about $1000/month for (top) health insurance, because I take expensive medications. In order to get a Visa to live in Italy, you have to purchase a year’s worth of private health insurance upfront. It includes everything. Hospital visits and doctors appointments. Scans of all the kinds, and lab work. Prescriptions, including Xolair. Even repatriation (which hopefully no one ever needs.) It’s $79/month. That is less than Hulu with live TV and suddenly, it seems almost financially irresponsible to live in America.

But then there’s everything I shared before. So please, do let me know what you would do in my position. Would you stay or would you go?

Towns & Hotels of the Dolomites

I was wowed with the interest in the Dolomites! So, I had to way over-deliver. I’ve broken it down into region of the Dolomites – South Tyrol, Trentino, Lombardy, and Veneto. The towns and hotels and lakes and even a few hotels of particular note.

60 hotel suggestions. 31 towns. 6 lakes. A few hikes and restaurants. A really good resource for any trip to the Dolomites. And thank you, truly, for understanding that this has to live behind a paywall. I am very conscious of overtourism, and I do not want to help that whatsoever in the Dolomites. It can’t start to get the numbers of the Amalfi Coast, the landscape and ecosystem is too precious.

I didn’t include every single hotel in the Dolomites section of The Comprehensive Curation of Hotels in Italy, but I added a lot of new ones, which have all been added to the Google Map associated with the latter.